


White Night

by kanguin



Series: jaedo aus [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, A LOT of Angst, Angst, Author has some regrets, Comfort, Happy Ending?, Hurt, JaeDo, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad ending?, This broke my heart to write, dojae, emo hours, lumark besties, read to figure it out., read to find out, sleep deprived, sungchan and jeno babie, winter feels, yutae bfs, yutae briefly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:49:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28039464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanguin/pseuds/kanguin
Summary: Doyoung disappears one day. All Jaehyun has is a note left behind for him, and a snow white bunny.Little does Jaehyun know. Doyoung has no intentions of coming back.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta
Series: jaedo aus [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050893
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	1. JH

**Author's Note:**

> Written in my emo hours. Sorry. 
> 
> [listen here for the story mood.](https://youtu.be/118md4-_Bmsl)

_Dear Jaehyun,_

_I have gone away to think. I'm not sure how far I'll travel. I'll be back soon._

_Just be happy. Don't worry about me. I'll be back before you know it._

_\- Love, Doie_

That's what Jaehyun woke up to. A note set on his nightstand and a bunny white as snow set in a cage beside it. The first thing he could think of to do was cry. That's what Jaehyun had done for weeks. 

But that had been years ago. Jaehyun wishes every night that his loved one would return to him soon. It's been exactly 5 years. Anyone could tell that Doyoung wasn't coming back. But the sorrow had driven Jaehyun slightly over. He sits by the door and waits. His friends trying to tell him that Doyoung isn't returning. He just pushes them away. Telling them that he knows Doyoung will come back to him. 

Little did he know the moment he opened his eyes Doyoung had no intention of coming home. Because Jaehyun wasn't home. Doyoung had moved away into another city. He'd found work at a cafe and made new friends. In fact he found a girlfriend and was staying at a house with her. Whenever anyone asked why he moved he always said the same thing. "I needed to find something new."

It was cruel. Doyoung knew. It was cruel to go and leave Jaehyun like that. But he was sure the other had gotten over his sudden disappearance. He had a bought him a pet to make sure he wouldn't be lonely. 

And it served as a slight remember of Doyoung himself. 

As much as it hurt him, Doyoung knew it was for the better. Jaehyun would finally stop his obsession. He'd live a normal life without anything holding him away from his potential. Yes. Doyoung always told himself. _It was the right choice._

_Dear Doie,_

_It's day 2101 since you left. Are_ **you** _happy? I've been going to work_

_lately. But the office always feels empty. I say this everyday. I will_

_never stop loving you. I'll be waiting here. You said you'd come_

_back. I trust you and I know you'll be back home soon. Take as_

_many days as you want. Taeyong and Yuta keep telling me to_

_stop waiting for you. But I told them your promise. They didn't_

_take it seriously. But I know for sure you'll come to me._

_Love, Jaehyun_

When he finished signing the letter, Jaehyun tucked it away with the others in his safe. Thousands of papers neatly stacked together. One for everyday Doyoung had been missing from Jaehyun's life. All written with the pen Doyoung had given Jaehyun on his birthday. He'd never been left with an address. So he left the letters for safe-keeping. Hoping one day he can read them to Doyoung. 

Jaehyun got up from his desk and went to check on his pet. The white rabbit was munching on some food. It's large eyes stared at Jaehyun when he approached. Large almond eyes like the person he loves has. " _Tokki"_ the nickname Jaehyun had given Doyoung lingered on his tongue. It was strange naming a bunny Bunny. But Tokki had reminded Jaehyun so much of Doyoung. 

He removed the rabbit from it's cage bringing it out to play. It's fluffy fur soft at his touch. Tokki nuzzled close to Jaehyun not leaving his side. _You'll stay with me. One part of you is always with me._ A kiss was placed gently on Tokki's nose before Jaehyun went to bed. Tokki joined him to sleep. The owner and animal falling asleep quietly. 

"Order for Mr. Han" Doyoung called out the name loudly. A elderly man walked up. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at Doyoung and said 'thank you'. Which Doyoung returned with a 'your welcome' returning the man's grin. "How many orders are there?" he asked Lucas who was working on a drink next to him. "I already made the latte. Mark's doing the cappuccino. There's a Frappuccino needed for Ms. Park"

"On it" Doyoung whipped out the materials needed for the Frappuccino. Making it swiftly. He did this everyday. Creating drinks, hot and cold for the customers that stopped by. It was winter so warm drinks were highly demanded. Doyoung finished the Frappuccino. He handed it to Ms. Park who was dressed in business attire and looked to be in a rush. Whenever he had the time, Doyoung liked to check out the buyers and guess what jobs they had and what they were like. 

He did this even when he and Jaehyun were dating. On their dates he'd point out the actions of others. Jaehyun would smile and look at him with eyes full of affection. Sometimes Doyoung missed the feeling. But his girlfriend surely gave that love to him. 

Speaking of his girlfriend, he checked his phone surprised to see a text from her. 

_I heard it's busy day at the cafe! fighting ! <3_

Doyoung smiled. This was the encouragement he needed. Haeun was sweet and she always showered Doyoung with her love. Giving him words of motivation. He always felt happy with her. It made it easier to forget Jaehyun. The process was slow. But it was working. Doyoung watched as people entered and left. He made a few more drinks and proceeded to his break when there were no customers in sight. 

"Busy day" Lucas sighed. "Yep." Mark agreed. Doyoung had met Mark and Lucas his first day. The 2 were like each others other half. The definition of bffs. It reminded Doyoung of his friends Taeyong and Yuta. Which of course, he hadn't talked to in years. He'd lost Taeyong and Yuta's numbers. But their bubbly energy served as a reminder of them. 

"Yongie?" 

"Yuta?" Taeyong looked to the door of his bedroom. The light from outside spilling in. "Can I come in?" his boyfriend's voice was meek, contrasted to his usual loud and fun one. "Of course, come here. What's wrong?" Yuta pressed closer to Taeyong under the sheets. "I had a nightmare." 

"Again? The same one?" Taeyong asked concerned. "Yes..." Yuta peeped. "Maybe we should check with some" Taeyong said kissing his lover's forehead. "Mmm... I don't know yet"

"We'll see what happens tomorrow"

"But is having dreams of Jaehyun dying over and over again normal?"

_Dear Doie,_

_I got a job promotion today! They made me CEO!_

_Are you proud of me? You always told me to work_

_hard and not to worry about you so much. But I've_

_done it! When you return I'll buy anything you want!_

_I promise! I've been taking care of Tokki everyday._

_He's a very good boy. Hyung do you remember_

_when you told me that time when I wanted to_

_quit my job that I shouldn't give up anything_

_just to be with you? Well I hope you know I'd_

_give absolutely anything for you._

_Day 2103, Jaehyun_

Jaehyun had written the note early in the morning. He'd been too tired the day before to write. But he never skipped a day. Never. He couldn't bring himself to not make another one. It was like an obsession. An addiction. Plus, he wasn't going to stop. He'd only stop when Doyoung was returned to him. 

"Don't you think it's time for a new phone?" Haeun asked Doyoung curiously. "Oh, I don't know if I want to give this up yet." he admitted. "It's a little old and slower now. Don't you think?"

The phone was well over its time. But Doyoung could never bring himself to get rid of it. Jaehyun had given it to him. He had to agree with Haeun. His messages and replies were much slower. He'd gotten into trouble with his boss for that reason. "I guess you're right, I'll get a new one later"

That afternoon, Doyoung did just that. He got himself a new device. Tucking away the old one away in his drawer. The workers had transferred all the old information onto the phone he had in his hand. _Contacts._ Doyoung always went contacts first. To rename his friends. Scrolling through the names, Doyoung changed Haeun's name from _girlfriend_ to _sweet heart ♡._ He paused. 

It was the same contact name he'd given Jaehyun. _Backspace._ _My only one ♥._

 _Better._ Next was Mark and Lucas. Doyoung changed them from _Mark_ and _Lucas_ to _Thing #1_ and _Thing #2._ Giggling at the names. 

He spent the next half an hour renaming. When Doyoung finished he set down his phone. He was about to leave when something caught his eyes. 

2 names at the bottom of the contact list. 

_Yukkuri & Tyong_


	2. X

Taeyong woke up from the sound of his alarm ringing blaringly. He groaned shutting it off as fast as he could. It was the weekend and he had time to sleep in. Taeyong was pleased to know that the noisy sounds hadn’t woken Yuta who was peacefully asleep beside him. 

He was about to return to bed when a message made him turn back to his phone.  _ Who the heck is texting so early?  _ But the name labeled with the notification made Taeyong forget about the time. He was about to shake Yuta awake. But decided against it. With shaky fingers, Taeyong opened it. 

_ Long time no see, Yongie. _

It was as simple as a ‘hi’. Except it’d been 5 years. 5 YEARS since Kim Doyoung had said any words to any of them. 

_ Doie? _

It seemed unreal to Taeyong that this was his best friend. The one that had left them. 

_ Yes it’s me.  _

The next thing Taeyong typed was the question that had been everyone’s mind. His, Yuta’s, their friends, and Jaehyun. Especially Jaehyun. 

_ Where did you go? _

There wasn’t a reply for many minutes. But finally an answer came through. 

_ I moved to another city.  _

Taeyong sighed. It wasn't what he’d been looking for. But he guessed Doyoung had his reasons. 

_ Are you coming back? _

It was a stupid question. The whole world knew Doyoung wasn’t returning. Though some part of Taeyong needed confirmation. 

_ No. I’m sorry, I’m not coming back. I’m happy here Tyong. I have a girlfriend and friends here. _

_ Girlfriend?  _ The word was unfamiliar to Taeyong’s speech. Doyoung had a girlfriend. They’d always been in a group of  _ gay  _ people. No girls were ever mentioned in conversations. The next thing Doyoung sent slightly shook Taeyong. 

_ How’s Jaehyun? _

A truly vile question. 

Taeyong wanted to spit it all out. Tell the whole truth. Instead, he found himself writing. 

_ He’s fine.  _

It was definitely far from his idea of  _ he’sbeensittingandwaitingandjustgotajobpromotionbutkeepsthinkingyou’llbecomingbackeventhoughyouwon’tifitellhimthatyou’renotreturninghe’llbeheartbrokenandhe’salreadyoverthetop.  _

Waaaay too far from what he had intended. His answer was replied with a ‘That’s good’ and then the chat was silent. Taeyong assumed Doyoung had left and powered his phone off. Not noticing the final message left behind. 

  
  
  
  
  


_ Dear Doie,  _

_ Sometimes I doubt myself. Am I good _

_ enough? How can I change to be  _

_ better? You always said I was  _

_ perfect. But if I was perfect would _

_ you have left in the first place? _

_ I know I’m obsessed. But when  _

_ you’re not with me I feel so  _

_ Lonely. _

_ -Jaehyun _

  
  


Tears were filling Jaehyun’s eyes as he finished the last words. There were days he felt so alone. His house is empty all the time. What used to be a bright and cheery place for two turned into a dark barren cave for one. 

Jaehyun put the note away. Following the usual routine. He fed Tokki and made a few phone calls, initially deciding to go to sleep. Until a call from Taeyong came through. 

“What’s up Tyong?”

“Are you home?”

“Of course,”

“I’ll be there in half an hour”

Taeyong hung up.  _ Strange.  _ Jaehyun didn’t think much of it. Just as he had said, Taeyong showed up at Jaehyun’s door half an hour later. With Yuta. “What brings you here?” Jaehyun asked skeptically. 

The last time the both of them had visited was a week ago. Another one of those days that were spent on trying to convince Jaehyun that Doyoung was long gone. The urgent look on Taeyong’s face and the wary expression Yuta’s indicated that it was important. 

“It’s Doyoung isn’t it? I already said that you can’t convince-”

“Jaehyun, Doyoung moved away.” 

The words hit Jaehyun harshly. He looked away and then back with anger. “You’re lying! You're just trying to get me to forget him!” 

“Take a look.”

A series of text messages was displayed in front of Jaehyun. The screenshot of the whole conversation Taeyong and Doyoung had in front of him. The text when Doyoung told Taeyong that he wasn’t returning and that he had a girlfriend. To the message where he asked how Jaehyun was doing. Words that seemed to drown into Jaehyun’s mind. 

Each one piercing his heart. As realization hit him.  _ Doyoung doesn’t want to be back. _

“H-he’s not coming back?” The boy’s voice was weak. Pools of tears were brimming his eyes. Turning them glassy. Yuta’s guilty face just confirmed it all. 5 years and just a few texts. That’s what it took to break Jung Jaehyun’s heart and mind. 

He felt Taeyong and Yuta’s support on his side as he crumbled to the ground sobbing. 

  
  
  


_ He’s fine _

Doyoung smiled. It meant Jaehyun wasn’t mad. Nor was he upset. It lifted something off of Doyoung. He could finally breathe without the thought of guilt smacking him. 

He was in a good mood and took Haeun out on a date. But when they were seated his phone suddenly rang. Haeun looked at him with curiosity. “I’ll be back soon” he whispered to her and ran to the bathroom to see who it was. 

_ Unknown Number _

“Hello?” Doyoung called out. His voice ringing in the empty restroom. 

The first thing he heard was a sniff. There was no sound for another 5 seconds. Doyoung was about to hang up when a familiar voice came through. 

“You’re really not coming back?”

_ Jaehyun.  _

The voice that had whispered in Doyoung’s ears. The one that had sung him to sleep in the rain. “Yes. Yoonoh I’m not coming back. It was obvious, was it not?” Doyoung’s voice came out slightly aggressive which he instantly regretted when he heard Jaehyun start to bawl. 

It hurt to hear the sorrowful sound. “I waited for you. 1206 days.” Jaehyun’s words were shaky. “You waited?” Doyoung was speechless. “Everyday” Jaehyun sniveled. Doyoung was touched. No one had ever expressed their love to him in such a way. 

“Where are you, hyung?”

The same question Taeyong had asked him that day. 

“I’m in Seoul, I’m happy here” Doyoung blurted out. 

“So you are…” Jaehyun’s words were dripping with misery. 

“It wouldn’t work Jaehyun, we all know that. Look how much better you are.” Doyoung insisted before he could think any further. 

“How would you know?!” Jaehyun spat through the phone. “I was living off of a lie for 5 years! You  **promised** Doyoung. You told me you’d come back. I argued with Yuta and Taeyong multiple times because I didn’t believe it. But in the end they were right. You really left me here to break.” 

“Jae-”

The call ended. Doyoung suddenly started to feel conflicted. The feeling soon turned into guilt, and finally despair. He wanted Jaehyun to live normally and be happy. But this was what happened. He’d broken him. What would happen now?  _ He’ll get over it now. He’ll see he no longer needs me. I can live my life. _

But the heaviness on his shoulders did not disappear when he left the restroom. 

  
  
  


The night sky was dark as ink. Littered with stars. Jaehyun walked out into the garage. This was the first time he’d leave his house not for work. The engine started and he sucked in a breath.  _ Let’s go.  _ He backed out and started down the road. He didn’t really know where he was going. Only one place was in his brain.  _ Seoul.  _ He’d searched it up. He could drive there in a span of a few days. Jaehyun had packed a few necessities with him. 

He’d go there. Convince Doyoung to come back with him. Then he’d finally live happily ever after. Jaehyun had brought his pen and papers to write more letters. He couldn’t give that up. Sucking in a breath, Jaehyun headed on forward, not looking back. 

  
  



	3. DY

Taeyong had not expected a call late in the night to shake him awake. 

But it was the hospital. 

Taeyong started to panic. He hadn’t gotten a phone call from the hospital since he broke his leg a year ago. “Hello?” 

“Is this Mr. Lee Taeyong?”

“Yes.” Taeyong murmured. 

“Do you know the man Jung Jaehyun?”

_ Jaehyun’s in trouble.  _ Taeyong knew it. He just knew it. “Yes.” 

“He was in a car accident, he’s in critical condition right now. Would you come visit?”

Taeyong gasped. “Of course, I’ll be there soon.”

He shook Yuta awake. Not saying a word. Telling his boyfriend that he’d ‘explain soon’. On the way to the hospital he retold Yuta what the doctor had told him. Yuta paled and looked like he was going to cry. “Yongie.”

“Yes, love?”

“In my nightmares. I saw Jaehyun in car crashes. In every single one of them he died.”

Taeyong almost stopped the car too abruptly. “He’ll be fine” he knew he was far from sure. But someone needed to give comfort. 

  
  
  


“Ugh, who could it be this late?” Doyoung mumbled, grabbing for his phone. Haeun was fast asleep beside him. He was shocked to see Taeyong calling him. 

“What is it Tyon-

“Jaehyun’s in the hospital. Doyoung you’re not far from it. He’s been saying your name nonstop the doctor said he might not make it.” Taeyong was bawling over the call. 

“He what?” The fact hadn’t sunk in fully. But when it did Doyoung started to cry. His silent sobs weren’t loud enough to wake Haeun but loud enough to shatter his heart. “I’ll be there, send me the address”

  
  
  
  


Doyoung ran into the room Jaehyun was staying in. 

Taeyong and Yuta were there both puffy eyed. Taeyong’s arm around Yuta protectively. The sight of Jaehyun’s face made Doyoung want to run away. But he approached him slowly. Bandages were wrapped around his side and his head. The scars on his face were bleeding. 

The monitor that showed the heartbeat was wobbling. The line barely stayed up. Even Jaehyun’s heart seemed to be giving up on him. “Jaehyun, JAEHYUN!” Doyoung cried out the younger’s name. He grabbed Jaehyun’s hand which was cold and lifeless. Tears fell onto the skin of the palm. “Wake up.” Doyoung pleaded. 

“If you wake up I’ll come back. Do you hear me? I’ll break up with Haeun too! I’ll go home. I’ll stay with you, I won’t ever leave you. WAKE UP!” 

Silence followed. 

“You said you loved me, I love you so much. Even staying in Seoul. I always thought of you. I thought you’d move on. That you’d no longer need me. Jaehyun you were always giving up work to stay with me. Do you remember?” a tiny smile played on Doyoung’s lips as he recalled the memory. 

  
  


_ “Jaehyun?” Doyoung had been surprised to see his boyfriend still at home. “Why aren’t you at work?”  _

_ “I called in sick so I could stay with you!” the younger gave him a bright grin.  _

_ “Jaehyun this is the 5th time you’ve called in sick! You have to go to work!” _

_ “But I want to stay with you!” Jaehyun's pout melted Doyoung.  _

_ “Okay but tomorrow you’re going.” _

_ “Fine.” _

_ But Jaehyun hadn’t gone to work. It kept repeating. Him calling in sick. Nearly getting himself fired.  _

  
  


“I heard you got promoted. You know hyung’s very proud of you, and Tokki. I gave you Tokki so you wouldn’t feel lonely. Taeyong told me you’ve been taking care of him well.” Doyoung’s fingers brushed against Jaehyun’s knuckles gently. Tears were starting to form again. 

“When you wake up, I’ll only love you. I’ll only kiss you and hug you. I promise. This time I really do” the words were sincere, Doyoung really meant them. He knew he’d give anything for Jaehyun. That Jaehyun would do the same. 

“Please stay with me, Yoonoh”

“I would be lost without you.” he whispered the last phrase. 

“Mr. Kim” Doyoung turned to the nurse who had just entered. She was holding a few sheets of paper. “He wanted you to have these.”

Doyoung took the papers, noticing the words scribbled in Jaehyun’s handwriting. 

  
  


_ Dear Doie,  _

_ You broke me. You really did. But you know. I’ll love you  _

_ either way. Because I belong to you. Break me as many _

_ times as you want. I’m gonna come to Seoul. If you don’t _

_ agree to come back with me then I’ll respect that.  _

  
  


The first letter was short. The second one seemed to be cut off. The nurse noticed his expression. 

“He wrote it in the hospital. Before he blacked out.”

_ Dear Doie,  _

_ Maybe you’ll hear that I’m in the hospital. I wasn’t  _

_ driving properly. It’s been awhile. But if I don’t  _

_ make it I want you to have my letters. Go to my  _

_ house. Take my things with you. Take the money. _

_ Everything belongs to you. Remember. I’ll always.  _

_ I mean it too. I’ll always and forever love you.  _

_ I know in the past I promised we’d live  _

_ happily together. That we’d have a pet and  _

_ adopt kids. At the time it seemed like a fantasy.  _

_ I really believed it all. I was stupid to.  _

_ But I'm sorry that I didn’t hold up that promise. _

_ I guess we’re even. You know I don’ t  _

_ blame you at all. I could never. Kim Doyoung.  _

_ You know that I lov- _

The letter wasn’t finished. But Doyoung knew what came after. His tears stained the ink. This was really how Jaehyun felt. He’d broken the man so many times. Doyoung looked at Jaehyun resting on the hospital bed. Maybe he’d broken him beyond repair. 

At least he could fulfill Jaehyun’s last wish. 

  
  
  
  


Doyoung opened the door to the house. It was cold inside. He shivered. The tears on his skin freezing. He saw the bunny in its cage. “Tokki?” the white animal looked at him. As if he recognized Doyoung. 

He reached out a hand to pet Tokki. The bunny didn’t retaliate. It stayed in its place quietly. Doyoung proceeded to Jaehyun’s room. It was exactly the same. The bed, the table, everything. He spotted the picture on the nightstand. The one they had taken on their 3rd anniversary of dating. The two smiling faces and eyes staring at nothing but each other. 

It was all so familiar. But one thing was different. Doyoung saw the heavy safe near the bed. He bent down to check it. It wasn’t shut properly.  _ Is Jaehyun trying to get robbed?  _ But when Doyoung opened the safe, instead of money, flew out sheets of papers. Thousands of papers. Millions of words inked on them. 

A million words for Doyoung. 

Doyoung picked one of them up. A date was labeled. He checked another and another. One for each day. Everyone dedicated to him. His heart just ached as he read each one over and over again.  _ Dear Doie.  _

Enough pages to create an entire series. 

Doyoung held the letters close to his heart. These may be the last of Jaehyun he’d have. 

  
  


Suddenly his phone rang. It was Yuta. “Yuta? Is he okay?” Doyoung immediately asked. 

“Hyung! He’s awake!” 

  
  
  
  



	4. Forever

Doyoung wasted no time arriving to the hospital. 

He rushed down the halls and past several rooms coming to Jaehyun's.

He walked in. Body shaking from nervousness. There he was. Jaehyun was sitting up. Eyes half closed. But breathing more steadily. "Doie?" 

Doyoung wanted to cry all over again. He walked over slowly. The way Jaehyun looked at him seemed unreal. "Jaehyun?" He reached out a hand. Skin pressed against Jaehyun's face. Tears were falling with no stop. "Hyung! Don't cry!" Jaehyun gasped slightly surprised. "No, I just- Jaehyun I've been so horrible to you" Doyoung sobbed. 

"Doyoung." the older looked up at the younger. Eyes glossy from tears, lips pulled into a sad pout. "I'm so sorry" he whimpered. Jaehyun just smiled. Soft lips were pressed against Doyoung's. As he stood there out of his mind. Jaehyun pulled away and Doyoung suddenly felt the need for warmth. 

"You'll come back?"

"Hm?"

"You said if I woke up you'd come back."

"You heard that?" Doyoung asked turning red to the tips of his ears. "Well I'll admit, it was a little cheesy. But yes I did" Jaehyun giggled brightly. Doyoung hung his head low. Contemplating what to say. Jaehyun noticed his mood. The younger stopped laughing. Eyeing Doyoung curiously. "Are you okay hyung?"

"Of course!" Doyoung laughed awkwardly. Playing with his fingers unconsciously. His eyes trailing to the bandage wrapped around Jaehyun's arm. "Does it hurt?"

_Stupid Question._ Of course it did. 

Jaehyun didn't seem to mind the random question. He nodded. "A little bit."

But Doyoung saw the lie. It must've hurt like hell. Tears started to find their way back into his eyes. "Don't cry" Jaehyun cooed. His voice was melodious. Calming Doyoung down the moment they left his lips, Doyoung wiped the tears away with his sleeve. "I just feel so guilty..." 

"It's not your fault you know"

"Of course it is! I left you and made you believe for 5 fucking years that I would come back! I deserve this guilt" Doyoung sniffed, avoiding eye contact. 

"I was obsessed" Jaehyun finally said. 

"But-"

Doyoung wasn't able to finish his sentence as Jaehyun placed a finger on his mouth. 

"Go back to Haeun. Be honest with her. I'll wait for you." Jaehyun told him quietly. 

"I always have."

Doyoung knocked on the bedroom door. Once again another stupid action. It was his own room after all. He entered, surprised to find Haeun awake. She didn't exactly happy. " _Explain."_ his phone was in her hands. 

It was the texts he'd exchanged with Taeyong. 

"Who is it in the hospital? Not Mark and Lucas I assume?" Haeun questioned slyly. 

"I-" Doyoung stuttered. 

"My ex-boyfriend..."

Haeun's expression softened. "Oh, I'm sorry" she was sincere Doyoung could see it. But was she who he wanted to stay with the rest of his life. 

Doyoung thought about Jaehyun in the hospital. The injuries, the pain, and the tears. 

"Haeun."

"Hmm?

"Let's breakup"

"Ok."

Doyoung thought he heard wrong. "Okay? Your fine with it?" her reaction wasn't what he'd expected. More of yelling and being pelted by a high heel like in a movie had been his expectation. "You obviously care for this person. That night we went out you were crying. It was him wasn't it?" Haeun's gaze was gentle and understating. 

Doyoung couldn't lie to her. "Yes..."

"I'll be fine, go take care of him. He obviously needs you." 

"Haeun..." Doyoung started. "I was happy with you, you know." this earned a wide smile from the girl. "You can keep the house. I'll move back with Jaehyun." 

"Thank you." it was the least he could do for her. 

Doyoung shut the door to the house with his stuff with him. His car was in the driveway, he'd have to say bye to Lucas and Mark over text. A cold substance suddenly tapped Doyoung's nose. He looked up to see snow falling. For the first time in awhile a genuine smile appeared on his face. 

Jaehyun had been discharged from the hospital a week later. Doyoung had moved most of his stuff into the house then. Sometimes they were awkward but sometimes they had long heartfelt conversations, usually ending in Doyoung feeling guilty and Jaehyun showering him with love. 

It was quiet the night they lay in bed. "Jaehyun" Doyoung suddenly spoke. 

"Hm?" the reply confirmed the older was awake. 

"Did you write letters, _everyday_?"

Jaehyun sucked in a sharp breath. "Oh, those? It doesn't matter you can throw them out."

"But I love them" Doyoung pouted slightly. 

"More than me?"

"Well no..."

"Jaehyun?"

"Yes?

"Can I keep them?" Doyoung asked voice trembling. Jaehyun was silent. He turned to his boyfriend. Eyes locked together. "What's mine is yours." Doyoung grinned and nodded. 

_Dear Doie,_

_there's really no point in writing this. But I just feel like it._

_I can't tell you how much I love you. I'm beyond happy to_

_have you back with me. Remember that? It's been awhile._

_But like I've always said from the stars to the ground. I'll_

_love you. I'm yours to break and play with. In my world I_

_satisfy no one but you. You can bend me, snap me, but_

_at the end of the day I'll always be there for you._

"Appa that's so cringy!" a little boy sat on Jaehyun's shoulders as he read the paper out loud. "Jeno, your still young. Wait until you're older, you might understand more." the father pinched his son's cheek. "Appa! I want to visit Uncle Taeyong and Yuta!" the Jeno squealed happily. Small hands clinging on to Jaehyun's shirt. 

"We'll do that."

Doyoung sat in his room humming to himself. If he looked in the mirror those years ago he'd look so pathetic. But now he saw someone new. A happier and better person. 

From the edge of the doorway he watched Jaehyun playing with Jeno. A smile slowly appearing on his face. The 2 people he loved the most in his life. 

Mark had moved to a university near where Doyoung and Jaehyun lived. Lucas later also moving there. 

With these people by his side he'd be okay. 

Jeno's arms wrapped around Doyoung's neck, as he carried the kid in his own. Snow was gently cascading down. Jeno tried to catch one of the flakes. Shivering as one hit his cheek. Doyoung wrapped his arms tighter around his son, keeping him warm. 

They approached the door of Taeyong's house. Jaehyun knocked briefly. It was immediately answered by a energetic little boy. "Jaemin!" Yuta's voice was heard as he came chasing after the happy boy. "Sorry" he apologized. "It's fine" Jaehyun smiled. 

"Come in," Yuta opened the door wider letting the family in. "Where's Taeyong?" Doyoung asked Yuta who was trying to pry Jaemin away from Jeno. "He and Sungchan went out to shop." the younger replied quickly. "Ah, Sungchan is growing fast isn't he?" Jaehyun snickered sitting by his husband. 

"You can say that again," Yuta huffed rolling his eyes. 

Soon, Taeyong appeared with Sungchan. Greetings were yelled and hugs were given. The two families sat at the dinner table to celebrate the holidays.

Taeyong poured the glasses of alcohol. Doyoung turned to Jaehyun, they made eye contact. Doyoung didn't drink, as he preferred avoiding alcohol. "I'll drink it" Jaehyun mouthed. "Don't get too drunk" Doyoung reminded him. Fingers reaching for the other's, tangling them together. 

Taeyong had cooked and Yuta set the table. The kids sat together all laughing and smiling. 

"Sungchan looks more and more like Taeyong," Doyoung commented. 

'Of course he does" Taeyong smirked. Yuta shoved him playfully. 

"To us," Taeyong raised his glass. 

"To us, Forever"

Doyoung smiled at his friends and his husband. He didn't know where he'd be if he hadn't came back. To Taeyong , Yuta, Lucas, Mark, Sungchan, Jaemin, Jeno, and Jaehyun. _Forever._


End file.
